BIG BDAY and Family Medical Crisis

SO this is going to be a chocked full blogg the last week has been so crazy and BIG TIME emotional.

FOR starters. Today my BABY turns 13! Thats a big time Birthday right? I love her so much and I am so proud of the lady she is becoming. Friday she got out of school at 11:15 so I picked up her and 2 of her girlfriends for a sleep over. I got the biggest kick out of sitting in the house with the windows opened listening to them giggle and play like little kids... They went into the woods w a tarp and built a fort then put on the muck boots and went to the river and splashed around. all the while playing with these walkie talkies she had wanted. It was so cute for me to know she is 13 but can still play like a little kid. I think play is so important even as we grown into adulthood. After they wore themselves out I took them to the movies. In the town one town over from us there is this refurbished OLD theater. They play movies that are no longer in the theaters and getting ready for DVD release. and I enjoy going there bc you get the movie theater experience with out having to pay movie theater prices... So a win win. The rest of her celebrations with the family pretty much got canceled this weekend due to the rest of the blogg... she completely understood, just was a little bummed..

That was Friday into Sat. go back a little further, Thursday I was sitting here at work. and I receive a call from my mom, she is obviously upset. Once I got her to take a breath and tell me what was going on she tells me my brother ( lives in TN we are in NC) was at the hospital they found an Aortic Aneurysm and are medi-vacing him to University on Knoxville Med Center for emergency surgery. She was walking out the door of her office with the clothes on her back to get there as my sister in law and nephew( scott is only 6) were both at the hospital. He was in surgery for 10 hours Thursday night, the aneurysm DID rupture and he ended up in cardiac arrest on the OR table. Dr said they were able to get him out of it fast enough they aren't expecting any additional damage bc of that. But we wont know for sure till sometime this week hopefully. Everyone Dr, nurses, etc. Have said it is a miracle he is still with us. He is now doing as well as can be expected. He is still in ICU. His vision is about back to normal and he is regaining the use of his right arm which up till today he hadn't been able to use. His BP remains a BIG TIME concern. One minute they thinks its stable the next its elevated too high for a regular person much less someone in his condition. So prayers are needed regarding his BP. They wont release him from ICU till they can get that under control. My nephew is now in AL with his other grandma for the week, headed home next week, when my SILs sister comes to help out for a week. Then I will be going out for a week, the week of Mikaelas spring break. My brother is only 31... This is due to the bone disorder both him, my sister and 2 of my sisters children were born with. Back when we were growing up there was no Internet and all we knew was what the Drs told us.. they have brittle bones dues to the OI and that they are going to break, be casted /heal and re break it was part of life.. Now we know the OI effects much more that just bones. It is a collagen deficiency, so it effects, bones, teeth, causes cardiac issues and much more. My sister has an appt with her ortho this week to discus getting her heart scanned too to check for issues.

Now with all that said and b/c this is a WL blogg. How does stress effect me... NOT SO GOOD!
I dont think I have had decent quality food since Thursday. But yesterday was by far the worst. I was litterally physically exhuasted. I have been the go between from my mom and the rest of our world really, family, friends, FB contacts ect. which is great I love that but it means I was up late and up early Thursday and Friday due to people all over the world being in differnt time zones wanting updates. Friday even on my run I was taking phone calls and running which for the record is a bit challanging. I started ea call with, hello, please excuse my huffing but Im running and if you are ok with the huffing I am ok to talk :) I really couldnt stop though bc it was so cold outside if I slowed down my sweaty clothes got entirly too cold. But thats ok no one minding my huffing. By Sunday though I was really on the downward slope of just being way TO TIRED. Really my whole family was, all due to differnt reasons, Mikaela partied too late Friday night. Matt had been out of town with Army for 2 wks and doesnt sleep well at all when he is gone and me, well you get it. All 3 of us stayed in bed the WHOLE day yesterday. We got up to eat, let the dogs in and out, wash dishes and that was about it. I slept more yesterday than I think I have in years, I believe this was because I needed it bc I am SO NOT A SLEEPER. I am the first one up at my house everyweeked. Laying in bed is just not my thing. But you see I said we need get up for food, ok so to be honest this is what my food looked like bfast- Chips yummy that was healthy huh. Snack Cupcake.... another winner. lunch more chips.. dinner a frozen burrito.. I really dont think any of this even qualifies aas food in the real world but that is how I ate all day yesterday. So I am back on track today got my shakes and my chili with me at work. I confesse this so you know that even though I am down my weight I still struggle and probably always will with food choices.
I hope you all have a great week.. BTW my one year band-iversary is Thursday!

Half Marathon that wasn't but still was

So I was to kick of my racing season Saturday. You know what Ive been training for, for months.
Well Saturdays 13.1 was not supposed to be anything special. Its a free run so no bibs, t-shirts, timing chips, water stations..etc. its just a group of people that gather twice a year and run either a half, a full or a 50k. I ran with this group my first half back in November time was 2:48 ( 2hours 48 min). I was looking forward to Sat bc I really wanted to verify that I will be faster come April 13th when I run Rock N Roll. Per the GPS I was 45 min away from the starting parking lot. So I left an hour and five minutes before time to start. GPS took me to a sidewalk no parking to be seen for miles.... so I went down pulled off the road re-set my GPS bc you know maybe it was just stupid and didn't connect right or something. I mean I don't know how these things work. I did this 3 times each time the GPS brought me back to the same spot in the sidewalk. I went down and found a visitors center to the greeenway and parked there and called one of the people running this race. She said they weren't going to be able to start on time bc a LOT of people were lost ...so not just me. Assured me however though I was only a quarter mile away get out and run it.. OK no big deal. I set my phone app and took off... 2 MILES later I see a parking lot woo hoo now we are getting somewhere... WELP my car was in the parking lot, and I had run a 2 mile scenic loop.... I gave up by this point it was 15 min after the race should have started so I just left. HOWEVER I didn't go home and cry and pitch a hissy fit like I wanted too.. I mean really I was in a mood I really could have done that. I went all the way back to my town and ran my 13.1 there. SO I did run the distance for a half sat just not with the group I wanted to. I also shaved 23 min off my November time so that thrilled me too. It was super beautiful here Sat so I went home loaded my daughter and her BFF up and went to the park. I ended up with a couple more miles ran there. So all in all a great running day. I so loved the warmth and the sunshine Sat.. Now, back to "Wintery Mix" tomorrow...
And an update on last weeks post about my full..
Game plan is to run April 13th Rock N Roll as a HALF. I don't want to risk injury. Thank you all for your kind words re: my last weeks post, it really helped me feel better about my decision. My goal is PR there ( personal record) I don't think this will be a problem since I tend to run faster with others. Will do the Tarheel 10, April 26th.. no biggy there just 10 miles but it is a VERY hilly course so I am libel to be sore when I get done, but that's ok variety is the spice of life right...lol. Then I am doing my full in Fayetteville May 4th in the All American . I wanted to do this originally seeming we are a military family and this is a big time military event and runs through Ft Bragg. BUT I didn't sign up before for a couple reasons.. 1) My husband will be with his military unit across the state that weekend so no family to cheer me on. Bc You know I am not leaving my kid on the side of the road to cheer for me by herself for 5 hours how dangerous would that be. and 2) it starts at 6:30 in the morning...... THATS EARLY bc Fayettville is a solid hour from my house, then there is parking and getting to the starting line to think about... so we are talking about leaving home about 4:30, 4:45 at the absolute latest. But those reasons aside I am signing up this week. I want to run it and I want to run the full this spring so there. I am doing it. After I made my mind up I called my mother.. By the way my mom is one of my biggest supporters in life. She ties with my hubby..I asked her would she pick up Mikaela and the two of them try to be at the finish line about the time I get done. I mean I can ball park the time. That would keep any one from having to get up and O DARK THIRTY to go down and just stand for HOURS. She was thrilled I asked, she has never seen one of my runs before so she is excited to be there. So that solves the whole no family there issue . And maybe if my step dad rides down with the 2 of them, my mom would be willing afterwards to drive my car back, bc honestly after crazy long miles like that my legs normally cramp up big time on the way home. Although I am hoping with the strength training I am doing, that wont be an issue. So we will see.
I will be posting in another day or two about the ChaLean Extreme weight training. Its great and I am super excited to share all about it.
Anyways thats enough running talk for now :)

New Weight Training Work Out

Well last night I did my first weight training session with my new program. We are going into busy season for Matts National Guard unit so he will be away more and more now through the summer, and while he is gone it is a lot harder for me to get to the gym. I am pretty much to the point I only do weights and classes at the gym anyways. Sticking to running outside for pretty much 100% of my cardio. So I am canceling my gym membership at least for a while... save some money, and time seeming my gym is 20 min on the other side of my house from my work. I love my gym, the people, the facility, and I gladly drive past a half dozen others just to go to it. But with our schedules coming up and the beautiful weather that I am telling myself is right around the corner, I think its time for a little break from that seen. SO I purchased the ChaLean Extreme weight training set. Its produced by Beach Body the same co that does p90X and all those lines. Her concept is lift heavy and slowly for only a few reps to really develop your muscles and we all know what they say...muscle burns fat right, and I need to tone up this year. There is a total of 90 days worth of training in the package and all I needed to have on hand was my free weights which I already had. It also came w 2 cardio and 3 Ab sessions. Last night after dinner I closed myself off in the bed room and went to work on the first session and also the shortest ab session. I really enjoyed this, and I could feel that I was working the different muscle groups which is great ( PS in 45 min I was done and at home, to do 45 min at gym I am actually gone 1 hr 20 min btwn drive time there and back). So for the time being I am going to stick with this and the running. I am horrible with the strength training to date so I think having a program to keep me on track will help. Doing it on my own and just kind of winging what days I do it is not working for me. I need the structure that is in the program . I will keep you updated on my progress with this. My daughter is helping me tonight with the before the program pics. Will also take @ 30 days, 60 days and 90 days so later on I will be posting comparison pics.

Pic of the ChaLean program 

Weekly Weigh In Wednesday #50

Gotta love #50 nice round number.
Starting weight 273
Current weight 161.8
pretty close to same as last week. So hows that for maintance

I have my first race of the season this weekend. Half Marathon Saturday Morning( will be my second half..only goal just do better time wise..lol). I am ready for it.
However I am scared about the next one. Its a full (26.2 miles) in 3 weeks and I just dont feel like I am there yet. I had several set backs in February and early March, injury issues I had to let completly heal which got my whole training schedule out of wack. I am really debating doing that April full as a half and scheduling another race as a full. I feel a bit of a failure doing that but at the same time I could really injure myself pushing a 26.2 race when I am not fully ready. I have till the day before to make that call so I am going to take every bit of that time to deside. I am just so very torn over it. Will see how the next 2 weekends long runs go and and go from there I guess.

PS I really want this cold ikky weather to be gone. It depresses me after a while and its been going on for months.

Weight in Wednesday #49

OK so I got my scales back after being "on Strike" with them. LOL
Today 162
Starting 273
Total loss 111
Dr ,well PA , as I said yesterday said I am at goal and shouldn't try to go any lower due to my training. So I just want to stay at or below where I am now at least till something changes with my training and competing. Which I love so I hope nothing ever changes, lol. At every race there is at least one old lady running and I want that to be me on day. I will tell you though I totally feel like an old lady now though after that fall I took yesterday. My daughter said this morning don't worry mom your not old we are just both clumsy.. I love her so much she always tells me how it is!

I will leave you with this pic.. this is so what is running through my mind every time I am outside running.

Visit with the Surgeon ( well his PA) and stuff.. Warning very random post

So much has been going on in the last week or so since I posted. I was rather sick last week. Come to find out self induced sick. I hate that I stress to the point I physically am sick but that is something I am working on. Hubby's transmission went out on his vehicle about 5 days before he had to drive across the state to work with the military for a week. So we had to make a decision and one pretty fast. I honestly had told myself we would keep his car forever. It has always been my favorite car. A) its paid off, I mean what is better than that. B) we run a small farm and you can haul about anything in it, trust me we have. IT was an 97 Ford Explorer Sport( sport being the 2 door Explorer) but it ran well for a vehicle its age, yea it didn't have ac/heat, and yea the ceiling was falling down. But it was old enough that Matt could pretty much fix anything that broke on it. You know before cars started running on computers. A transmission though that's a big deal and since it wasn't like just a back up we drove when one of ours in down we kind of needed him in something that ran fast. Since I work and Mikaela is in school and track he cant just take off in my car leaving me car less for a week, weekend yes, 5 days not so much. We sat down and discussed thing and the fact that my car which is 100% more difficult to make repairs on was in need of a good $1,000 worth of repairs, decided that the best course of action was to attempt to find 2 cars and hopefully end up with a lower payment than I was currently paying, I know right crazy... BUT After a ton of praying we got the explorer to the scrap yard ( still not sure how it made it) and stumbled upon a car lot with a Truck for Matt that we got for cash so no payment still on his vehicle and got me out of the car and back into a SUV which we've been needing for quite sometime bc of the amounts of trips to Matt's moms that we make. AND Lowered my payment by $130 a month AND they connected me with a Insurance broker that lowered my car ins by $164 a month. Praise the Lord !  WE are on one income still ( with the exception of Matt's guard work) and any money we can save is SO NEEDED. It was such an answer to prayer. And the crazy thing was pulling out of the car lot I had no migraine no nausea, it was all gone, thus self induced by stressing. I have only once before bought a car where I didn't feel like someone was trying to trick me or pull something over on me but this time I left happy and so in peace.

So that was my last week drama. This week I went back to the surgeons office and saw his PA for my fill appt./  check in. Per their scale I was down 2#s since my January appt. I told her that, that was stressing me or I guess frustrating me would me a better description. She asked me why? I told her that my PCP had given me a goal of under 155 and that to be 7#s above that and struggling was frustrating. I did tell her that he was strictly going my the BMI chart though. She told me I am currently at goal and that she did not think loosing to be under 155 is a good idea given the training I am doing. She did say start going by my clothes rather than looking at the scale I wear a size 6 right now and medium in tops, I honestly never thought Id be an 8 much less a 6, and no intentions of going any lower. So I am comfortable where I am now regardless of that fact I will still be listed as "overweight" by the charts. I personally think they need to come up with a better way to measure that anyways than the stupid BMI chart that doesn't take into fact muscles at all. We did not do a fill either bc she says I need to focus on maintaining where I am at right now and she bumped my next appt back till June, so three months this time. I have to tell you I am a little relieved but scared at the same time. That may not make any sense but Ive never been successful at maintaining so we will see how it goes. Nothing else is changing I still run and am working on the weight training, my diet is up a couple hundreds calories a day to support the longer runs. And that has really helped with the post-long run fatigue.

To end you with a giggle... I am now laughing about this a couple hours ago was in tears but its ok you can all laugh at me too.. after my appt with the PA I stopped at the store to pick up supplies for our offices, We have 2 offices and 2 warehouses I shop for so a big trip. Me in all my grace fell out of my car. Like laid out on the asphalt the only part of me that didn't hit the ground was my head. Hand scrapped up, back scrapped up, of course now my back that I just spent the last 2 weeks trying to baby and get back to 100 % is hurting again, leg scrapped up. Purse fell off my arm dumping everything into the parking lot and all I could think was oh crap who is out here that just saw that... I honestly think I was the only one in the parking lot at the time, so that was a relief but boy did it hurt my pride. I am for the record one of the least coordinated people ever. I am ok with this its not new and if I was honest with myself should have seen it coming.  I was a little dizzy at the Drs office this morning which is not uncommon for me. IT was not vertigo dizzy so I kind of just brushed it off, but I guess I should have slowed down and been more careful knowing I was a bit off today. Oh well like I said I am laughing about it now. I have sat here trying to figure out exactly what I did so I can be careful not to do it again but I just have no idea. So hopefully I will just be more careful

Loose Skin

I think this is a topic we are all concerned, or maybe curious about. So I am down about 111 pounds and up until about 15 pounds ago the loose skin really was not bothering me. I mean I noticed it on the back of my arms but it wasn't terrible and after consciously trying to work on that area at the gym I am now ok with it bc its pretty much firmed back up. With that said. My lower tummy and inner thighs are now ridiculous. Don't get me wrong I'm thrilled w my loss and would take loose skin to being over weight and in poor health ANY DAY. Its just a fact of life now.
OK so a little history on me. I have always been self conscious of my legs I have thick legs, always have, always will.. Now they are VERY muscular now BUT BIG Muscles, not a lean muscle on this girl, so I always keep them covered, even back in high school. No dress's or shorts for me. So last summer when I really dived in to running I decided I really wanted to be comfortable in running shorts. I don't need to wear shorts any other time, I never have but I really wanted to wear running shorts this summer. So yesterday I had a pair on in the house they were just an old pair of hami downs so they didn't really fit me about 2 sizes to big but I didn't care, I was in bed with a very messed up back anyways. At one point I did get up and I was in the same room as my daughter and I asked her. Can mommy pull shorts off yet? Let me tell you before I tell you what she said. My daughter is VERY HONEST, we have had to work on how to be honest and still be nice at the same time. And I am proud of her for this, I mean most people sugar coat stuff or tell you what you want to hear then you leave the house looking like a hot mess. Ok maybe that only happens to me but it has happened, Ive seen a picture and been like really ya'll assured me I looked ok in this and this picture screams GO BACK HOME AND TRY AGAIN. So I deliberately don't ask Mikaela certain questions unless I am prepared for her answer, you know what Im talking about those days when the wrong answer will send you into tears or a bowl of ice cream.
OK So her answer.. UM NO that skin on your legs shakes when you walk. Well that answers that, maybe next year for the running shorts lol. I giggled all day over that I mean I knew that was one of my loose skin issue areas but I didn't think it was that obvious to others. Guess I was wrong. Oh well I would still do it all over again bc I can hid my loose, flappy skin.